


what if? The worries of being in a relaitionship

by sherlocked221



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, POV John Watson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 00:53:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3831085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlocked221/pseuds/sherlocked221
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John worries... a lot about Sherlock. All the time there is just something that seems to set him off, and leaves John worrying for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what if? The worries of being in a relaitionship

I sit back in my armchair and listen to the front door slam. Sherlock paces across the street to the tube station in a frustrated mood; I can just see him as he reaches the other side of the street. I pray that this case will hold his attention. If it doesn't, he wouldn't have had one for a whole week and he's barely gone two days without some sort of mystery or hobby to attend to. If ever a time comes when crime is so rare, Sherlock wouldn't just be out of a job but out of a life. I close my eyes.

What if there were no interesting cases for a long time? Sherlock would spend the first few days sleeping or wandering around the flat, quite happy to have a day or two to himself. Then he'd call Lestrade and looking in the papers and online. Before he can stop, he would have dived into the deep end of desperation. That could carry on for many worrying days while I sit back and watch. What else can I do if he won't talk to me, let me help him, let me close. 

But what if just looking doesn't keep him occupied? It never does for very long. He'd probably turn to smoking. It might just be one every so often when he's checked everything he can or needs a break, then it would be more as his addiction surfaced. The flat would stink to high heaven and his health would take a hit. The smoking combined with the lack of food as he wouldn't ever find time to eat, he'd be stuck in bed with aches and pains. By this time, he might not have me there, he may not allow it. Anyway, I couldn't bare the black fumes that he'd be puffing into his lungs and slowly drawing out. Not to mention the sight of him; all skin and bones, as pale as a corpse, his face more defined then it should be. 

Then, when there haven't been any cases for a fortnight, he'd take more drastic actions and, yes, I'd only give it two weeks. The Moroccan box would find it's way onto the desk and a needle would find it's way into his arm. And at that point, there seemed to be no going back. The cases would be gone for so long that nothing would be as interesting as the cocaine. My heart leaps.

But what if I'm enough to keep him out of that for long enough that another case comes along. I am his boyfriend after all. I could take it upon myself to change the whole course of that story, the fear that lurks inside me every day that there are no mysteries for him to solve. I could take the needle out of his box and smash it hard on the floor. I could snatch the cigarette out of his fingers and throw it out of the window, along with the rest of the pack. I could force feed him food and make him sleep in my room to make sure that he is getting sleep. I could be his strength, the thing that stops him going crazy. The thought makes me want to cry. I could keep him out of trouble, devote my days to finding a case, not stand in the sidelines watching him with disappointment written on my face. 

Then again, what if I'm not enough?

What if he gets bored?

What if he cheats, just to get that excitement again?

What if he asks me to move out?

What if the only thing that can hold him is the drugs?

what if...

 


End file.
